The thing I love/hate about making art is the work isn’t ‘neatly drafted in a manual. There isn’t an SOP (standard operating procedure) to follow. It’s a process of getting intimate with possibility.
Though sometimes, I want things to be straightforward, the RIGHT way to be clear and obvious. I don’t want dinner to be fraught with infinite choices. Please someone tell me the right thing to eat for dinner. Just tell me, and I will eat it.
I also sometimes wish I had a husband (or a really decent roommate) who could reign in my imagination, to keep me from overthinking the grocery list or getting stymied over furniture placement. Isn’t it great when someone you trust just chooses for you?
But the art? Well, it only steps forward when you decide to open the door for it. There is no RIGHT way. No consensus is needed about what to do next. You make a move (any move) and it sort of unfolds the next bit of the story - for better or worse. Some call it freedom - but it can feel like a swan dive into a dark, mysterious sea. Liberating. Terrifying.
If we don’t want to end up paralyzed, we have to just say, “Maybe I can___________.” And then try. And then try again. Small tries. And big tries. Guess what? No one dies if you try something that doesn’t work. The more you try, the safer you feel about trying more.
This is practice for everything, isn’t it?
Maybe I can change my career.
Maybe I can forgive some mistakes.
Maybe I can go back to school.
Maybe I can go to bed at 6 pm if I’m feeling tired and complete.
Maybe I can do more with less.
Maybe I can be less anxious without TV.
Maybe I can do things differently than most people.
Maybe I can work with what I have.
Maybe I can be a better friend/neighbor/partner/example.
Maybe I can be ok without someone’s approval.
Maybe I CAN eat carbs.
Maybe I can grow old un-gracefully.
Maybe I can make a difference for someone today.
Maybe I can paint my kitchen.
Maybe I can shave my head like Liz Gilbert.
Maybe I can accept the limitations.
Maybe I can bring back more music and dancing.
Maybe I can trust my best effort is totally good enough.
Maybe I can make more art than I thought.
